77 Myths of Venerable Magik

1. I Hate Black Metal... Or Frostbytten and Bvtthurt 1:54 2. Doesn’t Matter What You Call Yourself, You’re Always Gonna Be a Nazi (Just Say No to NSBM) 1:31 3. How to Get Signed 0:57 4. Social Media Death Metal 2:58 5. I’m Pretty Cool Myself 0:27 6. Jump the Heck Up 1:45 7. Super Unorthodox Backwoods Coffee Club Revival 0:45 8. Skimpy Solomon Fartfingers 3:26 9. Introduction: Gathering Around the Light of the Fire as the Unearthly and Benevolent Spirits of the Forest Join Us in This Magik Night 1:09 10. My Elf Ears Melted in My Car 0:05 11. Ranking Morbid Angel Albums Solely Based Upon Their Cover Art 2:22 12. At the Risk of Taking a Feminist Stance, I Gotta Say Cemetery Rapist Is a Very Bad Band 0:06 13. Getting Frostbite During the Texas Blizzard Taking Corpsepaint Photos 0:06 14. Don’t Tempt Me Frodo! 0:04 15. Awaken Me When the Time Is Appropriate to Listen to Type O Negative 0:34 16. Venom Enema 0:03 17. The Frozen One Awaits 0:04 18. Beefcakes Without Borders 0:05 19. Nothing More Punk Than a Fast, Casual Italian Eatery 0:05 20. The Ancient Spell, Grimly Uttered in the Tongues of the Old Ones by My Unfortunate Rectum Hours After Eating Spicy Curry 0:08 21. Mamma’s Selling a Line 6 0:03 22. Professor Snape, the World’s Favorite Incel 0:03 23. The Gate of No Return 0:03 24. The Noise Gate of No Return 0:04 25. My Former Life as a Poser 0:04 26. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 0:03 27. Diesel Boner 0:05 28. Really, How Long Does It Take to Test a Fucking Compression Pedal?? 0:05 29. Tormented and Coerced Into Performing a Live Ritual by an Eldritch Forest Spirit, a Pair of Ghouls and a Weeb 0:21 30. How Can I Be Punk When I Have a Severe Skin Allergy to Nickel 0:06 31. Freebasing Cringe 0:03 32. I Wish My Life Had More of a Thulean Perspective 0:07 33. Daydreaming Giddily About John Lennon Burning in Hell 0:12 34. Catfishing Viper 0:03 35. Cognitive Ball Therapy 0:03 36. Researching the Legality of Cannibalism 0:07 37. Entering and Leaving the Garage Waiting for the Random Encounter Peavey to Spawn 0:06 38. Unapproachable Raw Black Metal Legend Purchasing Me Indie Rock Record From My Own City 0:12 39. Cursed to Listen to Untold Hours of King Crimson in the Lair of Count Progula 0:09 40. Asking Raw Black Metal Elite, “You Ever Heard Behemoth?” 0:09 41. Buying a Gun From the Drummer of Savatage 0:05 42. Having a Random Encounter With Lord Wurm in Recycled, to Have Him Babble Something Insane and Give You an S Rank Quest 2:10 43. Nice 12 String Ric You Psych Rock Playing Poser (I Mean This Unironically) 0:04 44. Okay Give Me That Guitar It’s Too Cool for You, You Play Psych Rock in 2021 0:06 45. Wolves in the Throne Room Posting Emojis (Wolves in the Throne Room Are a Bunch of Fucking Nerds Pt 2) 0:10 46. Being a Pornogrind Fan Is Cleaning the Cum Out of the Grooves on Your Meat Shits Records 0:11 47. The Worst Part of Being an NSBM Fan (Other Than, Y’know Being Racist) Is Having to Pretend That Absurd Is a Good Band 0:04 48. Like a Macabre Rail of Silly String a Footlong Cord of Turds Rope Descends From My Anus 0:07 49. And on That Day His Forehead Grew Three Times Its Normal Size 0:05 50. Punishing Edm Kids With Neil Young 0:04 51. Becoming a Cocaine Cowboy Because You Don’t Know What Else to Do With Yourself Now That Burger Records Is Cancelled 0:06 52. You’ll Cowards Won’t Even Play in Standard Tuning 0:05 53. Todopoderoso Steals Riffs From Kombat (How DARE They Play an Open E) 0:05 54. Ancient Sword of the Meth King 0:04 55. I’m Going to Fucking Fight Vincent Gallo, and I Will Win 0:06 56. Successfully Cyberbullied a Child 0:04 57. Save a Tele, Kill Your Local Indie Rocker 1:33 58. Do You Believe in Magick (Spelled with a “K”)? 0:03 59. Aerosmith by Choice 0:02 60. Another Wampyric and Elusive Black Metal Project With Dungeon Synth Interludes Just Like the Last Five That I Unloaded My Paycheck On 0:10 61. That Mountain Goats Song About a Death Metal Band Wasn’t About Kombat 0:06 62. Jackhammer Dildo 0:04 63. Knowing Very Obscure Metal Bands Makes Me a Desirable Person and Fun to Talk to at Parties 0:08 64. An Onslaught of Rotting Monkeys 0:02 65. Giving My Album Art the Color Palette of Black, White and Red So We All Know It’s Blasphemy Worship (What the Goat Wasn’t Enough of a Giveaway?) 0:07 66. Wretched Crotchspawn of a Belligerent Oogle 0:04 67. Larry Is Bald 0:04 68. Cum Ghost 0:03 69. The House That Beef Built 0:03 70. Time to Start Bullying NFT Artists 0:06 71. Critical Race Theory in Power Electronics 0:06 72. A Snake With a Mohawk Eating Its Own Asshole 0:05 73. I Fear My Earthling Neighbors Have Seen Me Feasting Upon Car Batteries 0:07 74. A Group of Three (3) Or More Peavey Combo Amps Is Commonly Referred to as a “Pawn Shop” 0:11 75. Honor Guard of Black Kittens Guide Me as I Carry This Pile of Bones Home 0:10 76. If You Feel Your Rectum Begin to Leak Feel Free to Challenge Me to a Battle of Intellects on Facebook 0:26 77. Eno-Pilled 1:09